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I spent 7 hours outside today.
First, I went to the mall and looked around~
and then, I went to my one and only favorite Caf?.
It felt good going outside since I’m always locked inside my house, but then the rain started pouring. It made me feel like I should go home. It’s like the rain said I need to go home now, because home is the safest place, but I didn’t went home just yet. i don’t like being at home.
My parents are the first one to cut my wings and shape me into something they want to be.
I hate it. I never liked it.
I dropped out of school last 2015 and they’re still mad at me until now.
I dropped out, yeah. because I don’t really like the course. Now they’re telling me that I don’t have a dream so just stick with what they want me to be. I do have a dream. But they crushed it. They cut down my dream even before It could grow.
I originally wanted to be an Astronaut before, and until now. But they say they don’t hire female ones. fvck it.
And then, I gained interest on writing stuffs and I started building up my dream again. It’s like I’m a seed and someone found me and planted me. I was happy. I’m writing short stories, poems, fan fictions. I thought, oh if I can’t be an Astronaut then, maybe I’d be a writer instead.
I was happy with what I’m doing.
But, my Parents won’t allow me to take a course related to it.
Writings won’t feed me they said.
I Don’t know what to do anymore.
They never agree with the things I WANT TO DO, and they’re forcing me to take the path they want to take.
I don’t wanna take that path.
I am not them.
I have my own path to take.
Why won’t they let me?

I don’t know.

Can I live?

Can I live as me?

I never wanna live as somebody else.

This Earth must really hate me.

Sorry for venting out to you. I just- I don’t have anyone. My sisters don’t listen to me. I don’t have any friends. I’m all alone.

Heh. you won’t even read this haha.

I hope you’re doing well. Eating well, resting well. Living well, Living as you. Living happily. Genuinely happy.

I just..

I hope you’re doing really good. You mean so much to me.

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